


Never Let Me Go

by thesecretdoor



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2018-10-18 18:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10623117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesecretdoor/pseuds/thesecretdoor
Summary: Friends are people you can hold on to to keep you steady, lovers are the ones that never let you go.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song Never Let Me Go by Judy Bridgewater (from the movie Never Let Me Go)

He's always been afraid of heights, though he tries not to show it. Ueda knows that Maru is always too self-conscious of what other people are thinking of him, and though he feels exactly the same way, for some reason he finds protecting Maru to be more important than his own image.

The first time they go up the tower it's just to have a look, to see what they are expected to do, filming won't even start until a little while later.

They both go up together and Ueda can see that Maru is already shaking just climbing up the steps. He reaches out a hand to pat his friend reassuringly on the back “It's OK Yuichi, I'm right here.”

They arrive at the top of the tower and the staff are already waiting, explaining to the juniors before them what will happen. Koki is among them, and he's shaking too, Ueda can tell already that he's not going to go through with it.

He and Maru shuffle forward, but Maru stops a few metres short of the actual diving platform, shaking his head profusely.

The staff try to usher them forward but Maru shakes his head again “I can't”

“Come on” Ueda coaxes, a hand on each of Maru's arms, shaking him just a little.

“Only if you hold me” Maru says, looking almost pleadingly into Ueda's eyes “And don't let go.”

Later that day Maru jumps, he makes a big fuss and twice he calls Ueda up to reassure him, but of course they cut that part from the show for the sake of time, and Ueda's shaky tears before he jumps himself, make him look a bigger coward than Maru's apparent nonchalance.

Ueda's only saving grace he supposes is that he jumped anyway, just as he expected, Koki refused.

● ● ●

They've done live shows before, but nothing on this scale and for the first time they'll get to use the infamous floating stage.

Maru had been against it even from the planning, which wasn't really a surprise, but they can't keep everybody happy, and after an argument that was around 3 minutes from becoming a fist fight, they agreed to use the floating stage.

“I don't see why we can't at least have a black floor or something...do the fans really want to see the bottom of our shoes?” Maru whines as he regards the completed stage for the first time.

“Don't be an idiot” Kame snaps back, his fuse already running a little short, Ueda thinks. “We can't have them look at the bottom of a black floor, now stop whining and get on.”

Ueda sighs and steps on it, holding out a hand for Maru, but the older man just shakes his head and stays as low to the ground as possible as he crawls onto it.

It starts to move and Maru lets out a pathetic whine as he rolls onto his back so that he can't see the ground getting further away.

“Get up” Kame snaps again “Don't think you can roll around on the floor like that in the actual concerts.”

Ueda resists the urge to push Kame off the moving stage, and instead wanders over to Maru and takes hold of his hands. “It's OK, we'll stand near the middle and you won't even feel like it's moving.”

Maru shakes his head, his expression so pitiful that Ueda wants to let him lay there for as long as he likes “I really don't like it.”

“Yuichi, I'm not going to let you fall OK?” he insists, and after a moment of consideration, Maru seems to agree, and he allows Ueda to pull him to his feet, but his arms are immediately around Ueda's waist.

“Don't let me go.” Maru whispers into his hair, and Ueda feels his cheeks heating up, but he just places his own hands on top of Maru's.

By opening night everything has fallen into place, and even Kame can relax as Maru dances with the others, the adrenaline of the concert pushing the fear from his mind.

● ● ●

“Where are we going?” Ueda asks for the third time as Maru drives, a little faster than he usually would, out of Tokyo.

Maru's expression is stony, and he practically glares out of the window ahead of him. “I told you, you'll see.”

Ueda lets out a puff of air but just lays further into his seat and closes his eyes.

When he wakes they're pulling into some kind of car park, only it's not brick and concrete, it's more gravel and trees and views of mountains.

“What the...?” Ueda asks, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

And then Maru finally turns to him. “I saw what they're going to make me do. It was written in the file, they left it on the table and I know I shouldn't have looked but I just wanted to know what stupid, dangerous thing they were going to make me do next.”

He feels a little guilty at the hurt expression in Maru's eyes, though it's nothing to do with him, he doesn't get any more say in what they do for the variety show than the others do. “What is it?”

“Rope bridges” Maru replies, almost spitting the words as though they were diseases. “They're going to make me cross rope bridges...that are really high up.”

It's Maru's idea of hell, anyone would know that. “I'm sorry...”

“Yeah, well I'm getting kind of tired of it now” Maru snaps a little, the hurt expression still there, but there's a hard edge around his eyes now “They think it's funny to make me do all of this stupid stuff so that I'm all scared and acting like a coward on TV...again...but I won't do it any more...”

Ueda nods, not quite sure how he fits into this, or quite why he had to give up his day off to drive miles from the city to hear it. “That's good...it's a good attitude but...”

“I'm going to face my fear today.” Maru says by way of explanation “I'm going to cross the bridges today, in my own time, and you're going to help me.”

He wants to be angry about this selfishness, but he can't help the fluttering in his chest at the knowledge that Maru needs his help for this. That above anyone else, Maru called on him again to help him face his fears.

Their tour guide leads them to the first of the bridges, and though it's really not that scary as far as Ueda is concerned, Maru doesn't look half as confident as he did half an hour ago.

“You go first” Ueda insists “It's you that's going to have to do it in front of the cameras.”

Maru nods, but Ueda can see the fear in his eyes as he looks out across the bridge, and the large gulp he takes before taking the first step.

He hasn't even lifted the other foot before he withdraws again. “Come with me.”

Ueda sighs “Fine, go on then, I'm right behind you.”

But Maru shakes his head, holding out his hand “Hold onto me.”

Ueda pushes his hand away “Idiot, you need your arms for balance.” but he shuffled closer all the same, placing his hands on Maru's waist and turning him to face the bridge again “OK, let's go together”

Maru nods, smiling, and together they take the first step “Tatsuya, don't let me go...”

When Ueda sees the VTR at the studio filming, Maru still looks scared, but he feel a pang of pride at Maru's will-power, and knowing that he had at least something to do with it.

● ● ●

He can't take it any more. He tried at first to ignore his feelings, but they've always been there, niggling in the back of his mind. He just can't get over them, not when he spends so much time around the other man.

The other man being Nakamaru Yuichi, his best friend.

Maru was one of the first people he met when he joined Johnny's, they were almost the same age and somehow that brought them together, and from there it just worked.

Being around Maru is easy, he's a quiet and thoughtful person most of the time, but he can also be really fun and childish when he wants. Being around Maru would be easy, if that were all Ueda thought of him. But since as long as he can remember, Ueda has been in love with his best friend.

He doesn't know when it started, he's needed Maru the whole time, and the way Maru seems to need him too only makes things ten times worse.

There's nothing special about tonight. There's no big event, no fearful situation and no recent heart-break, but for some reason Ueda just can't take it any more.

“What are you doing here?” Maru asks, presumably surprised to find Ueda on his doorstep at almost one in the morning.

“Hold me” Ueda replies, his desperate urge the only thing he can think of though the haze of confusion in his mind. “Hold me, and never, never, never let me go.”


End file.
